‘Twas the Year 1777…

Captain Numbskull

‘Twas the year 1777…

King Victoro, the king of an island near England, was sitting on his throne, when suddenly the doors of the throne room opened and one of his servants, Mr. Gruso, came to him and said, “O King, we hast brought unto thee a prisoner.”

“Good. Bring him hither for interrogation!”

The doors of the throne room opened once more and there came in two guards with a prisoner between them, a rather dumb-looking man with spectacles and a black pirate hat. The poor man was wrapped up in a white strait jacket.

“Who art thou? And what is thy purpose here?” asked the king.

“Well, uh… let me have the honor of speaking to thee in words.”

“Of course thou speakest with words! Now answer my questions!”

“Sure thing, mister. My name’s Cap’n Numbskull!”

The king raised his brow. “Oh… oh, really… and thy purpose here?”

Captain Numbskull replied in a proud manner, “Me, Cap’n Numbskull, has been a’lookin’ for a bit o’ treasure. A map that I have been a’followin’ led I to this certain palace. So, me was a’lookin’ around when all of a sudden two gentlemen came and seized me like… like I was a fish!!”

The king became both interested and annoyed.

“Hidden treasure? In my palace? Well, I guess that maketh it MY treasure, am I wrong?”

“Of course thou art wrong!! I’ve been a’searchin’ for this treasure for seventeen years! Seventeen years! And I advise thee to stay away from my merchandise!!” squeaked Captain Numbskull.

“WHA-WHAT DIDST THOU SAY?!!” the king bellowed. “I am the great king of this island, Fanaticostcosodor Island, who will one day conquer all England. And ye come to me with disgrace? Intolerable! I advise thee to submit to me, OR TASTE MY WRATH!!!”

The pirate captain looked both dense and aghast, with his tongue sticking out.

“I-I’m so terrifyingly sorry! I didst not mean to make thee so… whiny… and I, THE GREAT CAPTAIN NUMBSKULL, shalt therefore submit to thee, rather than getting hanged for treason…and I shalt hereby kneel to thee, O King… King… uh, King Whateverthynameis!” gobbled Numbskull with his rather obnoxious voice.

But what he said next let out a gasp from everyone in the room.

“Your Majestink”, he said as he kneeled. “I am thy most humbug servant!”

And therefore Captain Numbskull was kicked out of the palace.


by Joshua Makoto Swanson

All Rights Reserved 🙂